I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
