thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
