A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My ass is underappreciated
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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