Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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