i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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