it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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