I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
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So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.