the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.