I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
