but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that