that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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