At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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