i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
