i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
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Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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