why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
