Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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