I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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