Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize