I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
