I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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