oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
being pregnant is like rehab
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
