Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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