He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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