He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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