found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
