apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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