I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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