Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
