its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
