Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
