Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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