your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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