my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
