Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
