I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize