Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
