I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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