i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
