i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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