Yo dont text me then not text me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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