Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize