I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
