So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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