Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
