I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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