He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
