i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
