apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
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You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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