you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We're too hungover to prance.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
