Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize