Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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