you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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