There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
