After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize