What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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