Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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