if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
