OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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