non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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