Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
