Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
