i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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