Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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