OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
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then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
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The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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